P.S. Because of the crime I DID commit, I am not allow to engage with minors. 
I can not do facebook, twitter or any social media. That is why I can not allow just 
anyone I don't know blog/respond on this website or to respond if I do not know you.

Seeing Our Situations

S.O.S. Commuinty starts here   :)

WELCOME TO OUR SITE
  we are rebuilding the site.

Mission statement: 

(1) To be the world wide conversation on sexual abuse. 

(Bringing the light)

(2) To create the spaces to hear.

(3) To empower the abusers to stop the abuse.


I have made 3 web pages to cover these topics which are still in the works.  


Why is this going to work?


We were born as babies, not abusers. Being abusers is a learned behaviors from outside of ourselves and what lives around us.

Over 90% of our learning comes from other people and influences.

We have the power to change that. 


Thoughts are not real and only has power that we give it. 

Brain studies have shown the brain can not tell what is real or made up.

When a person start to believe the thoughts in their heads to be real, they will start living and acting from those thoughts. 

We have the power to change that too.

Neuroplasticity or Brain Plasticity. The ever changing brain.


It takes an average person month to sometime years to step over boundaries before they feel confident to start offending. 

There is a lot we can do way before offending happens.


If you know how to create space for people to express questionable desires they first come up or have been having, where they might be coming from in the mind as thought, having them explain it to you re-engages their mind in a different way too see it. They hear themselves. And if you created that space for them, they are allowing you to be part of their influence and foundation. I have seen people give this up to easily. 


Any person left with these thought and idea alone and by themselves, they could fail. If a person is tell themselves that (normal strong people) don't have thoughts like this, but I am. And they think this over and over, this if the first steps in reprogramming the brain in a way that does not work, constantly disempowering themselves.

We have the power to see and change that too.


Another part I will throw in here, I had to disconnect from the victim and from myself to offend to achieve sexual gratification. I have had many other who offended tell me the same thing. This is why abusers drink or use hard drugs. When I started understanding and using empathy and self-empathy, (using N.V.C.- NonViolent Communication) this is powerful. I am going to put down ways to re-engage with yourself and or your abuser to have the abuse to stop. 

Lets engage with the abuser to empower them to stop the abuse.


Right here right now, we are going to redefine the rule of engagement. 


This is only that start of what we can do.



(A final note.) When a questionable desire pops in the beginning, this is new to most people. It can hit you at any age.  Pushing these thoughts, feeling and images down, suppressing them, or trying to bury them in the back of the mind and covering them up, does not help, just like acting on them does not help!!! 

(1) Instead, ask your self, what need is this trying to meet? 

(2) When did this need become missing  in my life that I am looking at it here, now?

(3)  How were my needs being met in the past before these questionable desires came up?

(4) If I am going to meet this need now, is there any harm will it cause me or to others?

(5) How can I meet these need in a safe & healthy way

(6) Can I meet these needs from inside myself?

(7) Who is a safe person to talk to who will hear me and support me in healthy choices



P.S. If you get a chance, SEE ME BLOG, I have been working on it. I have also  placed my favorite TEDX talks on each webpage.


UNKNOWN FACTS
According to the most recent major study by the Bureau of Justice Statistics (2004), where 9,700 sex offenders were tracked, only 7% of such crimes against children were perpetrated by strangers. The majority (93%) of molestations of children are not committed by strangers but by people who are known and trusted within or about the family.