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So why will people want to watch this reality program?
First and fore most, it will have real drama, the kind that will make you cry, that will question everything that you thought you knew. There is also a healing factor that will also make you cry and take your breathe away.
This program will answer a lot of those (no one wanted to ask) questions, skills and understandings to not only to protect themselves and there families, but protect them from becoming an abuser. Because over 90% of sexual abuse/offending are done by people you trusted, loved and were met to protect you. Until you understand that there are records that six years old are offending and were adjudicate, the huge climb in both minor and women sexual offenders, so can we say that there is something terribly going wrong here.
So what will be the focus that will make you and your views want to watch and become believers? In this, I will ask you a question that arises in every person after they just got done sexual offending the victim, why did I just do that?!? Sometimes it is conscious, sometimes it is subconscious, sometimes it is both.
So why do you think they did that (that being sexual offending), I asked that same question for the longest time, and to get that answer, I needed to take responsibility and accountability for what I have done. And I have found for another to take responsibility and accountability, They need to see what accounted in there life that allow them to (CHOOSE) yes, it is o.k. to step over this boundary. But we will have to play this very strategically so that it does not cause excuse, to blame shift or to help minimize.
Now you and your viewers want to know what was it (meeting their need for drama and understanding) and how do we stop the pain and the harm that comes with it. (Meeting their need for wonder, awe, healing and many from of closure and satisfaction.)
I have talked with and work with both survivors and former offenders,
BOTH SIDES want the offending to stop, but this does not account for everybody, just the majority.
So what does the research have to say that I have continually studied?
A continuation of my improvement in choosing to (not only to never sexual offending again,) but to help others to never start.
We are looking at THREE MAJOR PROBLEMS from least to worst. And I will post the studies on there own web pages within this month.
1# The first is the food we eat and take in. The research and evidence is overwhelming. The majority of the meats we take in are full of growth hormones to produce rapid growth and maturity as quickly as humanly possible in our live stock. And we have the studies to show that it has and still is effecting the human body. We have abnormal growth hormones in our bodies changing on how fast we are developing as soon as we are able to breast feed. How bad is this?
Seven to nine years old little girls are now having their periods, look at the huge climb in adolescent sexuality and sexual offending. I will take this to another level, think about a 12 year old boy who is front of the judge who is about to be adjudicated, Do you really think the he really understands what caused him to offend? That he had the skills, the vocabulary to create self-empathy in how he is feeling, what is he needing, What am I about to do, can I meet my need in I more healthier way? NO!!! For a new young person, there going through new, (unexplored) emotions, feelings, sexual urges and hormones, (that is super strength, we will make you go up fast hormones. Now he is crying in front of the judge, his family all confused and terribly embarrassed with their own anger, shame and guilt. He was caught in emotional, not logical and got swept away in the moment.
DO YOU GET IT? We can change this!!!
2# Sex sells, and sex is everywhere. Do we really need to look at the (also) overwhelming study and research here? The increasing way of objectifying women for profit or would greed be a better word? I myself was one of those kids who had posters of women I wanted to have sex with, masturbated to them and changed them out often.
And now is commonly in our everyday language. Buy this sexy new car, ways to looks sexy, feel sexier, the sexier new you. Have you seen all the porn that is out there and growing?
Do you really think there is no impact on the mind, IT'S EVERYWHERE, hitting you at the subconscious, (some studies call this a form for brainwashing or programming. This is our culture and environment.
I'm sure that when the judge ask the 12 year old young man, O why did you do it, do you think that boy can tell him why?
WE CAN STOP THIS. I am asking to let me to become a leader, (not as follow me,) but let me go first.
3# I will call this the power factor. This one has the least supporting research, but the most devastating outcome!!!
So to start this out, There was a very powerful man of this country, (not wanting to name names.) He committed sexual crimes during different times holding different offices including our highest. This man had the money and the power to hide and squash everything that reached the courts. At one time, I wanted to be the rich and powerful, owning and having sex with many women, changing out women, women want me because of my power and money. Having sex with multiple women at once at multiple times. Look at some of our successful rappers and there music rap videos. Look at all the women they have.
Look at Hugh Hefner, the start of playboy magazine and his reality program about being married to now 3 (was 6) playboy bunnies.
My point, even tho it is hardly talked about in how we can be influenced on what being powerful is. We have many, many poor examples from our leaders and the most powerful. And at the worst thing, most held in the subconscious.
There was once a time where I had a thought that if I had the money and the power, I would be here. (prison) But then I would have been in a different kind of prison that I may have never left.
So the focus here is not to attack anyone, but only to view what we might hold what power means to us and would we really do if we had it.
There levels of power can be over looked too. Power over someone, entitlements, being right and so forth.
One other focus I would like to put in play, I don't know what to call it yet, so I will call it the Frenchman play. He does not have all his women from power, the has gotten them from being a pleaser, looking to touch and satisfy women before his own. I see american culture about themselves and who can help get this for me. But I am will to be wrong and am very open to new and better idea which I think the public would love to share.
4# And now a 4th unlisted bigger thing I am seeing.
This I feel has become a spiritual thing. This is only my point of view.
We seem to be all disconnected from one another. This is part of why offending is becoming easier to do. It's the way we teach about GOD and our connection to God and spirit.( I will touch on this later.)
( Old stuff of old work and still revamping)
Mission statement: To reduce sexual offending and recidivism by creating a safe and open place that bridges the gaps in communications and allows people to get the help and support needed to recognize behaviors before offending.
Don't be afraid...BECOME AWARE.
S.O.S. is a call for support.
So what is our approach and focus?
Healing and a raise in consciousness. A social healing, a community healing, a victim/survivor healing, and esa abuser/offender healing. WHY??? Because over 90% of sexual abuse/offending are done by people you trusted, love and were met to protect you.
These are not strangers which would be easy to disconnect from and hate. This is why this is so sensitive, so challenging and so hard to talk about. Sense I started this nonprofit, I have talked to people from both sides of the sexual offending. (mostly survivor) Everyone is asking for healing and away to stop others falling into this hurtful, painful cycle from being a victim or a offender. ( And I as a former sexual abuser/offender, will help anybody from falling into the cycles of an offender/abuser.) It's a painfully hard road to travel for help, healing, reconnection and growth.
First, there is a lot you can do before the sexual abuse begins!!! Communication it the key.
Addressing the (thoughts) of questionable desires from becoming the (actions) of offending. This means open lanes of communications in what ever area a person may be struggling in. You WANT a person to talk about any problems they may have, looking for help and support is good. Everyone does better in life when facing problems with support so they are not stuck by themselves facing problems that can fester and lead to more harm.
Also, it is about the functions of the brain. A person who has the abilities to clearly describe their struggles to someone engages other part of the brain. We want this!!! The part to solve problems, the part in seeing different perspectives depending on the support they receive back, the parts which allow them to hold self reflection through deep thought explaining the problems to someone. This gives them the ability to reflect and solve their own problems and gives them that eureka moment where they feel motivated to make changes and sticking to them.
(A final note.) When a questionable desire pops in the beginning, this is new to most people. It can hit you at any age. Pushing these thoughts, feeling and images down, suppressing them, or trying to bury them in the back of the mind and covering them up, does not help just like acting on them does not help!!!
(1) Instead, ask your self, what need is this trying to meet?
(2) When did this need become missing in my life that I am looking at it here, now?
(3) How were my needs being met in the past before these questionable desires came up?
(4) If I am going to meet this need now, is there any harm will it cause me or to others?
(5) How can I meet these need in a safe & healthy way?
(6) Can I meet these needs from inside myself?
(7) Who is a safe person to talk to who will hear me and support me in healthy choices?
P.S. If you get a chance, SEE ME BLOG, I have been working on it. I have also placed my favorite TEDX talks on each webpage.